You’re on the CUSP of your dreams
You’re riding the wave of fear
You’re waking up with massive sinking feelings
You feel disorientated
You can’t quite believe you’re here
It feels surreal like you’re in a parallel universe
Yet it is real
Your old life feels like a distant memory
You’re so close
Yet you’re standing on a cliff edge
And you’re so close to falling
to pushing yourself over the edge
to jumping to self sabotage
That in a way you have NOTHING to lose
to do what it takes to get away from the cliff edge
to grasp your dreams fully
You now really understand when someone says you really just have to give absolutely no f&%$s and do it!
That you have no choice but to own them
That you’re prepared to step into a NEW way
and shed and leave everything behind
That it is DREAM or DIE!
It is a tug of WAR
It’s your HEART vs your MIND
It really is 50:50
It is THAT close that something inside you is screaming
Your Heart HAS to WIN this time
You’d be absolutely CRAZY, paralysed to not let it because that’s how close you are!
But the memories of all the other times you’ve self sabotaged come in
You have moments daily where you’re just like WTF
What the hell am I doing?!
Can I really fucking do this
This is DANGEROUS!
Seriously what the hell
Am I dreaming because this feels surreal
You sleep longer to escape from the fearful thoughts
But then you wake up and the reality of both sides
of what COULD happen if you let your heart win if you SUCCEED
of what COULD happen if you let your mind and fear win comes racing through you
And you feel this DEEP DEEP DREAD! It’s so dark and heavy.
It’s soooo scary
Why would you put yourself through this?!
That it’s sooo TYPICAL of you to dangle yourself over the edge
To leave things to such a CLOSE SHAVE!!!
You know you DO have it in you to succeed!
That you have tasted being the STAR before! You’ve tasted your potential at taking massive risks and WINNING! SUCCEEDING!
But you’ve also in the past couple of years tasted the other side….the risks you took from such a fearful place….that got you to massively sabotage! That got you into such a shit crumbly mess not once not twice….but countless times
That lost all your confidence! That made you forget the capability in you, that crushed your dreams, your inner power
That made you TRY to be practical…try to be safe….try to ensure safety nets…back-ups…but you’ve never been good at all that.
But STILL….you’re here and this time you really HAVE to make it happen!
You’ve created a situation where you don’t really have a backup plan
It really is all or nothing
And this all or nothing
The DREAM or DIE is making you really wake-up and realise and really grasp the magnitude of what it really MEANS to let your heart WIN!
That it just seems really ridiculous and really really stupid that you’d let your fear win! That you’d self sabotage
And that the times that you HAVE sabotaged….you weren’t in proper alignment
And this time it feels so much more REAL!
…..I still have so much to learn
I still have more to GET
But the reason why I somehow am in this position of where it really well and truly is SINK or SWIM…DREAM or DIE….tug of WAR….50/50…Heart OR Mind
Is so that I have NO CHOICE but to DIVE in fully and follow my heart now that I’ve just tasted the tiniest bit of my hearts life! Because from this position I can really see how it really doesn’t even make SENSE to believe the fears! My heart has given me no choice but to finally wake up and see its the ONLY way!