The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. —Carrie Bradshaw
Loving yourself is a state of being! It means being completely present and fully accepting yourself unconditionally in this moment.
Loving yourself is accepting the journey you are on right now. You can still love yourself even if you want to change where you are in life right now…your bank balance, your wardrobe, your relationships or any other life situation or circumstance, which really is only a temporary situation, compared to the everlastingness of your soul!
By loving yourself you realize you can only move forward when you are fully conscious and accepting of where you are right now without judgment to yourself. Loving yourself for where you are now creates excitement, determination and hope that you can sustain for the journey you can take to get to where you want to be.
Nothing has to change in your life situation for you to love yourself, you can still very much be the same person and be in the same situation, but when you truly love yourself you can magically manifest your ideal situation more quickly as you completely shift yourself from feeling so disheartened to a more peaceful, calmer and hopeful place. Only in that state of mind I’ve personally experienced how you can powerfully change things to get yourself to where you want to be more quickly and radically, because it is coming from a loving place rather than a place of fear and feeling of worthlessness. You can only be, do and have positive things by acting in your best interests from a positive loving state of mind!
“Sexiness is a state of mind – a comfortable state of being. It’s about loving yourself in your most unlovable moments.” – Halle Berry
Someone once told me, ‘be kind to yourself! Treat your inner being like a Goddess!’
….I was lucky enough to attend burlesque dancer Sophia St. Villier ‘Every Woman is a Goddess’ workshop where through the art of burlesque she helps women to connect with our inner goddess wisdom and love our bodies by inhibiting our sensuality through the power of the divine feminine to realize you are already the desirable ideal and you are sexy now on your terms! Her belief is every woman is a Goddess which I love!
We can start treating ourselves like the Goddesses we are (!) in the way we love and speak inside. Sometimes we wouldn’t even dream of speaking to our worst enemy the way we negatively speak to our self so we can start loving ourselves by speaking kindly and compassionately inside! Speaking to ourselves kindly is so important! As Goddesses we are completely beautiful enough, deserving enough and sexy enough as we are right now, there is no specific ideal or celeb body we have to buy into no matter what we think or are told – pleasure, passion, joy, sexuality and sensuality are available to us all now, not just occasionally in the future if we feel good enough. So be mindful of the negative chatter you have with yourself!
Loving yourself is the BEST protection you can give yourself when dating and in a relationship. When you’re being at a higher loving place with yourself, you attract and create more loving energy around you, you won’t attract someone with characteristics that you find negative or frustrating, because you completely love and accept yourself, even the aspects you deny and hide from in yourself which makes you more compassionate and understanding of others!
“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life” – Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love
Loving yourself is about consciously recognizing the value you hold as a person and believing, breathing, and respecting that value. You wouldn’t exchange a diamond for a moonstone, so similarly if you don’t value yourself enough you will attract guys and situations where it feels like you are putting up with @!$# or situations that feel disrespectful to you or where you are constantly compromising yourself…..which leaves you feeling crappy and isn’t loving or respecting yourself! If someone isn’t treating yourself the way you want to be, maybe you haven’t valued yourself enough to attract the same value into your life. When you love yourself you never have to feel compromised, disrespected or having to ‘put up’ with @!#$.
“I have my own high standards for what I want in a partner and how I want to be treated. I bring a lot to the table. I’m not talking about material things but what I have to offer as a person – love and loyalty and all the things that make a good relationship.” – Jennifer Lopez
“If you want to be treasured, you have to treasure yourself first and then show someone how to treasure you.” -Regena Thomashauer
By loving yourself and truly recognizing your value you take out the fear of losing someone. If you truly live and breathe your value, nothing will ever be lost. The belief we are ‘lucky’ when we meet someone we love and by putting someone else on a pedestal with infatuation disrespects our own value – we are deserving to have amazing people who light us up in our life, but when you think in terms of lucky you automatically attach fear to it that you aren’t good enough to have them in the first place. If it was lucky you met them, there is a big chance you could lose them! Realize your worth so you can receive without fear. Know you’re completely and equally deserving and worthy enough to attract the amazing people you want in your life, and you are always just as good enough as them! Know that if there is loss nothing is ever lost.
“You’ve got to love yourself first. You’ve got to be okay on your own before you can be okay with somebody else.” – Jennifer Lopez
If we think of the celebrity Goddesses we love and know like Jennifer Lopzez, Madonna, Beyonce, they are alpha females! We never define them by their love life, they come across as just as whole, fabulous and independent by themselves, as they are. Who their boyfriend/husband is, and what is going on in their love life feels hugely insignificant compared to the female power these women exude by just owning their divine femininity and being themselves! You shouldn’t ever have to worry or fear standing on your own whoever you are, how old you are or what your life situation is. No matter what twists and turns your love life takes, if you love yourself, and can own and work the fabulousness in you, you are completely enough by yourself as you are, and you don’t need a man by your side to make you more so or validate you, to make you feel lovable, good enough or to give you purpose! So concentrate on being the fabulous you, and whatever happens that will always be enough!