“So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day…” – Ryan Gosling, The Notebook
And lastly, when you decide to be with someone, don’t settle – make sure it is a hell yes! If it isn’t a hell yes it should be a hell no! This rule promises you only leave space in your heart and life for something special and amazing!
Never feel selfish, guilty or afraid of walking away from something that doesn’t feel right in your heart. You are more selfless and braver to have the courage to be honest to yourself and the other to walk away from something that may make sense on the surface but not so on a soulful level. No matter how hard the road is after you will never regret being honest and truer to yourself!
Once you’re ultimately with someone who is committed to you and you are committed to them, make a commitment to make it work. Sometimes we get caught up in thinking that once we’re with our dream match that our relationship will be perfect and everything is ‘happily ever after’ thereafter. We get surprised when we experience conflict and too easily think about moving on, to meet the next person!
Matchmakers are really resolute on the fact that dating isn’t meant to be treated like fast-fashion! Quickly replaced tomorrow with the next, better date. A trend massively enhanced by Tinder and online dating! The fact is All relationships will require work! Hard work sometimes!
One matchmaker I met will specifically only introduce what she thinks is a perfect match to her client between the 3rd and 5th introductions she will make for that person because she has experienced that psychologically her clients are more accepting of a good match later on in the process. If a good match is the first introduction that she makes she has found they are more likely to reject them because they still want to have the opportunity to still see what’s out there in the belief there is better to come!
When we give from a place of love, rather than from a place of expectation, more usually comes back to us than we could ever have imagined.
– Susan Jeffers
If it is a good match and you have commitment from both sides to work things out, then you can resolve any issues you face.
True love isn’t just the fairy-tale esque romance that we experience at the beginning of relationships, it is created from awareness of who we really are and who your guy really is, respect of their needs and desires, and a commitment to unconditionally give and care for them selflessly in exactly the way they need to be to receive the same back. True love only comes as a result of relationships – it is both a never ending journey and a gift – a gift where we receive the love that we give out!
“Pure love has no conditions or boundaries. Love does not restrain itself or hold back. Love gives all the time and doesn’t ask for anything in return. Love is a continuous flow without any limits. And all of this is inside you.”
― Rhonda Byrne
We can experience truer love by being more present and living in the now – that is being more accepting of who we and who our boyfriends are, and not judging who they are and how they behave in the recognition of what we share in each other – the interconnectedness of being human and none of us are perfect! This stops us trying to change someone or something by accepting what is. This eliminates drama and hurt by being more conscious of what is without negative reaction, to transcend us further from our mind and ego, and take us closer to our heart and soul so that we can act from this more loving place.
True love can’t be the love/hate dynamic we sometimes experience from the understandable highs and lows of relationships, where our mind/ego projects our needs onto someone else therefore causing drama, accusation and judgment when our needs aren’t met.
“There’s no bad consequence to loving fully, with all your heart. You always gain by giving love.” – Reese Witherspoon
Love is a state of being, which is already inside us – we don’t need to attach it to someone else, someone ‘better’ or a relationship.
The Greeks came up with the concept Agape; the highest universal form of love that transcends over ‘normal’ love attached with conditions – “the self-transformational act of caring absolutely and unconditionally for another in the exact way they need to be cared for.”
Our relationships will ultimately give us the greatest opportunity to grow and heal ourselves and move us to a more enlightened state of being.
…..I so hope you have enjoyed reading my ebook and I have made at least the tiniest difference to how you think and feel about your love life and can approach dating feeling capable of creating and manifesting the relationships you’d love to have and feel worthy and deserving of all that you want! That you’re confident and courageous to be vulnerable, be authentically you, and ask for what you need!
I would love and so appreciate it if you shared with any fabulous girl friends you have! If you loved it please review it! And you are welcome to join in the conversation and share what comes up for you in my private Facebook group!
If there is one thing I have learnt from learning all about Love! – Loving Yourself, and all the positive beliefs of self-worth and feeling deserving that comes with learning to love yourself is the most powerful miraculous tool for magically transforming your personal happiness and attracting the relationships you dream of! I never used to understand what loving yourself truly meant, whether it meant having really high standards, following a set code of principles, holding yourself up to seem better or superior, or just being a diva (!) but I have come to experience it is the most important foundation of your true happiness, and I wish it was something I had known about earlier! It’s the simplest yet most challenging key ingredient to amazing relationships and happiness! It really is the ‘Secret’ to everything!